United States of Generica 2: Radio Shack Becomes “The Shack”

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

Previously on Cool Rules Pronto…

Pizza Hut became “The Hut,” evoking images of Jabba — or worse.

Now word comes that another iconic American brand has likewise simplified:

Radio Shack is now “The Shack,” evoking images of a giant basketball player. Their new tagline, “Our Friends Call Us The Shack,” makes me wonder what their non-friends call them.

Pop Quiz: Which One of These Things is Not Like the Others?

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

I’m usually impressed with Amazon’s ability to recommend products based on a purchase. It’s a smart way to get current customers to buy more.

But tonight I purchased a product at Amazon and got a recommendation that I wasn’t quite expecting. Can you tell which one it was?

click image to enlarge

Yes, we Mac users are a wild bunch indeed…

Stage vs Screen: Time to Swap Bodies?

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

Hollywood is experiencing a “Freaky Friday” that’s lasting all summer — and perhaps beyond.

In the 1976 movie “Freaky Friday,” a mother and daughter magically swap bodies. After a series of icky moments milked for laughs, they predictably come to understand and respect each other.

Now, unpredictably, the entire movie industry is experiencing a similar switcheroo.

Not Exactly “Metafore!”: Politicians and Poetic License

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

"My darling, I may be a lowly postal employee, but I do have government-run health insurance..." "Then shut up and kiss me, you fool!"

“Words are the worst thing ever. I’d prefer a drunkard at the bar touching your bum to someone who says ‘Your smile flies like a butterfly.’” — Grandmother Donna Rosa in “Il Postino”

Twenty-five years ago, the film “Il Postino” captivated American audiences with its sun-drenched tale of Italian romance, the collision of poetry and politics, and the seductive powers of metaphors. Yes, metaphors — or as the lead character Mario exclaims, “Metafore!”

Then we come to this side of the Atlantic, where we Yanks cast subtlety aside, and our metaphors and similes take a much more colorful turn…

Too Soon? iTunes Features Michael Jackson

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

The news of Michael Jackson’s death just hit the internets a few hours ago, and the iTunes Store already has Michael Jackson featured on top and center…

Grounds for Desertion: The Last Stand of Starbucks’ Third Place?

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

Oh, now you've gone and pissed off the mermaid... (illustration by Jeffrey Thomas)

Three yuppies walk into a Starbucks. Sounds like the beginning of a joke, and in a way it is. Two claim a table, while the third goes to order. He asks the others what they want, and they both say “nothing.” He responds, “So why are we here?” One replies, “Someplace to talk.” The first guy scowls and says something that makes me want to high-five him…

It Will Eat Your Brain and Your Bank Account: Multilevel Mindlessness

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

"Try it! Look what it's done for me!" (Photo by TW Collins through Creative Commons)

Multilevel marketing (MLM) is the business equivalent of cigarette smoking. It’s technically legal, rakes in major dinero for its corporate overlords, and has addicted millions of people worldwide, even though it’s ultimately bad for you…

String Up the Velvet Ropes! Why Social Networks Need Barriers

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

L.A. contains miles of velvet ropes that pack more protective power than the Great Wall of China. They’re fronted by large scowling men armed with high-caliber clipboards. And they’re assaulted nightly by swarms of wannabes, who are then repelled by blatant acts of discrimination based strictly on looks…

No Exit: Why Exit Strategies are Bad for Business

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

"God I need an exit strategy... or a man... maybe both at the same time..."

Too many entrepreneurs treat their start-ups like Hollywood relationships: the affair begins with a lot of passion, is great for headlines, and might even lead to deals, but as soon as things get a little rocky — or something better comes along — the entrepreneur is outta there faster than you can say “Renee Zellweger”…

DotComrades: Great Anti-Heroes in Web Development History

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

"WEB TWO!!!"

Over my fifteen years of working in website development, I’ve encountered some bizarre and fascinating characters rivaled only by the people who gravitate to show business. Here are just a few I’ve met — perhaps you recognize some of them?…

You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’: The Post-WaMu Chase Blues

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

So my longtime bank, Washington Mutual (WaMu), recently got taken over by megabank Chase. ‘Twas a sad day for us WaMulians, because for all its faults — and it had a few — WaMu was a friendly place to bank, with everything from chirpy messages on the ATMs to free candy at the teller windows. What wasn’t to like?…

They Cried More, More, More: Getting Current Customers To Eat Up

My wife just paid off her car two years early, and she’s ecstatic about it. Getting the new car was fun; but shedding that debt felt even better. It’s like getting to eat an entire package of freshly baked Trader Joe’s Snickerdoodle cookies in one sitting and losing all the weight the next day.

Pipe Dreams: Did Silicon Valley Pick The Right Role Model?

just a series of tubes

Former Senator Ted Stevens was roundly mocked for his comment that the Internet was a “series of tubes.” Now, I can think of a hundred reasons to ridicule venal old Ted, but his analogy wasn’t that off the mark. Yes, it was technically wrong, but many Web 2.0 companies share the same purpose as public utilities: they exist to pipe stuff to users…

Mob Rules: The Legend of How Web 2.0 got 2.Owned

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

Cue track 8: "Falling off the edge of the world"

A long time ago, in an Internets far far away, the people were promised a galaxy free of corporate-empire dominance, where the little guy would have a fair and equal shot at being heard, where small businesses could claim riches once envisioned only by multinationals, and where unsung individuals would finally be sung. The playing fields would all be level, and there would be many goals to shoot at…

Welcome to the Microsoft Store! Are you sure you want to enter? Are you sure? Are you sure?

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

"Would you like fries with that?"

That strange gushing sound that you’re hearing is hundreds of commercial landlords across the country salivating all at once: finally, someone to take over those vacant Sharper Image spaces!

According to an amusing article in the L.A. Times, Microsoft is looking to make its image a little sharper by opening its own chain of retail stores…

Sugar By Any Other Name… Avoiding The “S” Word

This week I had my students at Antioch L.A. develop ideas and marketing plans for new energy drinks. Some of the health-conscious students had trouble determining how to sweeten their drinks without sugar or chemically contrived substitutes. (We Los Angelenos all look for ways to minimize our sugar consumption — it so clashes with our daily smog intake.)

Better Off Undead? The Mysterious Popularity of Zombie Movies

And so it began...

To prep for a video I’m producing, I watched Undead or Alive, the 2007 comedy-horror flick about zombies in the old west. It’s moderately entertaining, with Chris Kattan as a cowboy wannabe and Navi Rawat as the intellectual kung-fu fighting Native-American babe. The hitch in this giddyap? The zombies themselves. Although they have more dialogue than most zombies (better agents, perhaps?), they’re still just another iteration of the lumbering brain eaters who have populated every zombie flick since Night of the Living Dead. Not exactly scary. I’d be more terrified to find a stray pitbull approaching me on a city street. Or Ann Coulter.

And yet…

A Mismatch Made In Heaven? Apple Does Wal-Mart

Seeing iPhones sold at Wal-Mart is like seeing Wolfgang Puck chowing down at IHOP (not likely) or Rachael Ray pimping Dunkin Donuts (oh yes she did).  Has there ever been a bigger mismatch in marketing history? What’s next, an Apple logo on a NASCAR vehicle? Or even worse, an Apple at a — what? What’s that, you say? You want to know what’s the big deal?

Anarchy in the U.K.! Or Just Getting Their Ducks in a Row

As I mentioned in my post, The Unparalleled World-Class Mission-Critical Hero: Words Sucked Dry In Business, some terms just get under your skin and start gnawing their way toward your brain. Obviously, this has resulted in mass hysteria in some business circles.

But the people are not taking this lying down! They’re fighting back by…

Exorcise Your Memory: Ghosts of Xmas Past? Cool. Ads of Xmas Past? Not So Much.

As this economy continues to just lie there, unmoving and unappetizing as cold turkey giblets, some businesses are trying to save money by re-airing their old holiday commercials. After all, those ads cost a lot to produce, so why not wring the last morsel of value from them?

At Home with Hank: A Fairy Tale of Need, Greed and Perception

image created by Keinishi

INT. DINING ROOM – MORNING: HANK PAULSON and his teenage daughter PRINCESS are having breakfast. We can’t see his face because he’s reading the Financial Times, chuckling to himself. She’s toying around with her half-eaten Froot Loops in a fine china bowl…

Soccer Moms Voted Off The Island For Jumping The Shark: 10 Odd American Expressions You Should Know

Despite an economy that resembles roadkill, America still excels at media, including entertainment and news. We give good hype, and the Internet brings it to the rest of the world 24/7. One problem: all this unfiltered Yankee content poses a linguistic challenge for people in other countries, even those fluent in English. That’s because Americans also excel at screwing with the language — and I’m not just talking about Miss South Carolina (warning: excruciating cringe-inducing video ahead)…

Facts and Go Figure: The Sneaky Art of Justifying Anything

Want proof?

So there’s this common symbol that’s being used to justify everything from industrial pollution to obscene spending. No, I’m not talking about the letter “W” — that’s become a punchline. I’m referring to the once humble and inoffensive % sign, now exploited as a tool of self-righteous justification. I stumbled across two flagrant examples of % abuse in the past few days alone…

Don’t Ask Me to Explain – Just Enjoy: Bad Day In Eden

Not quite sure how this sells insurance, but it’s good for a laugh…

Thanks to Doug Cone for passing this along!

Just a Hunch: #1 Halloween Costume for 2008…

Skirting the issues, as usual...

You can picture it now: VPILFs gone wild everywhere… So wear protection, guys — and I mean body armor — particularly if you’re dressed like a wolf.