United States of Generica 2: Radio Shack Becomes “The Shack”

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

Previously on Cool Rules Pronto…

Pizza Hut became “The Hut,” evoking images of Jabba — or worse.

Now word comes that another iconic American brand has likewise simplified:

Radio Shack is now “The Shack,” evoking images of a giant basketball player. Their new tagline, “Our Friends Call Us The Shack,” makes me wonder what their non-friends call them.

The Brand is the Result: In Defense of Image-Only Advertising

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

I couldn’t resist the bait.

A direct marketing guy on LinkedIn posed the following question:

“Why don’t most advertising agencies pay as much attention to results as they do to their creative and the awards that they can achieve?… Don’t get me wrong, I believe that branding is important to a company, but feel like you can do both at once and achieve much more. … Respectfully, please help me in understanding why clever creative, especially on the Internet, is the basis of awards instead of client results.”

WTHWTT?! Microsoft Tosses Up New Ad — Don’t Watch

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

File under “What the Hell Were They Thinking?!”

A few days ago, Microsoft leaked a new ad for Internet Explorer 8 — though I’m not sure if “leaked” is the right verb for it. More like spilled, yakked up, upchucked, and Technicolor yawned it. The ad is nicknamed “OMGIGP,” which stands for “Oh My God I’m Gonna Puke.” Really. No kidding. And it actually has a woman vomiting in it. Think I’m jesting? Watch for yourself — if you can…

Buzz Marketing? Winery Goes 2.0 with Job Contest

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

A job so cool, you even get a bitchin' hat.

Talk about truth in advertising: this really is a dream job.

Murphy-Goode Winery in Sonoma County, California, is offering one lucky applicant a six-month gig to be their “social media whiz.” The job involves blogging/posting/tweeting/videotaping the winery, its products, the lifestyle and the surrounding community…

The Chips are Down: A Lesson in Branding

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

Faux Sure!

You already know that Pringles aren’t really potato chips. One bite told you that. You just ate ‘em because they make good midnight munchies. And they come in that cool tube.

But the blogosphere buzzed when parent company Proctor & Gamble publicly proclaimed that Pringles aren’t entirely made from potatoes…

You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’: The Post-WaMu Chase Blues

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

So my longtime bank, Washington Mutual (WaMu), recently got taken over by megabank Chase. ‘Twas a sad day for us WaMulians, because for all its faults — and it had a few — WaMu was a friendly place to bank, with everything from chirpy messages on the ATMs to free candy at the teller windows. What wasn’t to like?…

Must Read: Dan Neil Tattoos Christian Audigier

The perfect wine for your next Harley rally.

Intrigued by the Ed Hardy wines at his local Whole Foods, Pulitzer Prize winning writer Dan Neil performed exploratory surgery on that insatiable branding machine Christian Audigier. The resulting L.A. Times article is a brilliant and funny study of branding gone wild…

Saks and the City: How to Lower Your Standards for Fun and Profit

"That's when he said he was a marketer! Imagine that? A marketer expecting to date me?"

You’ve all seen the standard romantic comedy: the lead character pines for a fantasy ideal — a millionaire, supermodel, quarterback, cheerleader, prince or princess — but in the end, our hopeless romantic finds true love with a best friend, worst enemy, nerd, prostitute, maid or bodyguard. Delusions dispelled, the true lovers lock lips and live happily ever after. Or until Hollywood makes a sequel.

Today, thanks to the recession, many businesses are undergoing the same head-spinning realignment of expectations. Their dream consumers — namely, the filthy rich — are suddenly coming up short. Damn them. So these once discriminating businesses must now pursue less profitable paramours: potential mates who were once considered “beneath them.” Some businesses even undergo extreme makeovers to appeal to the masses. And you know where that could lead…

“Show Me Your V”: It’s about sports. Really. I think.

Why? Why? Why?

Raise your hand if you’ve heard of Versus… Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Apparently, not too many people know about the small sports network, which I personally appreciate for bringing me football games from the PAC-10 and the Ivy League. Where else would I be able to catch the Harvard-Cornell game in L.A.?

Obviously, Versus wants more than us middle-aged marketing geeks. So in an effort to generate awareness, Versus is asking for more than a show of hands. They’re literally asking people to “Show Me Your V.”

Really.

Business The Buffett Way — Not Warren, But Jimmy

Parrotheads

Want to see a brand done right — and gone wild? Go to a Jimmy Buffett concert, but don’t bother with the music performance.

A Mismatch Made In Heaven? Apple Does Wal-Mart

Seeing iPhones sold at Wal-Mart is like seeing Wolfgang Puck chowing down at IHOP (not likely) or Rachael Ray pimping Dunkin Donuts (oh yes she did).  Has there ever been a bigger mismatch in marketing history? What’s next, an Apple logo on a NASCAR vehicle? Or even worse, an Apple at a — what? What’s that, you say? You want to know what’s the big deal?

Divide and Conquer: Segment Your Market without Pissing Anyone Off

A few years ago, my wife and I strolled into Forth & Towne, a new fashion chain from Gap Inc. targeting women over age 35. It was solemn and dignified with muted lights and muted music — and muted people. While other stores in the mall percolated with excited shoppers (this was 2006), the spanking new Forth & Towne saw its handful of customers browsing quietly, as if they were preparing to pay respects to an open casket…

PWN Your Competition During Tough Times: How To Leverage The Value of Your Brand

Plus: Why “Price” isn’t Just a Number on a Sticker

Feeling plucky, punk?

Tough times like these separate the plucky from the certifiably pluckless. Plucky companies see economic turmoil as a ripe opportunity to crush weaker competitors. The pluckless see a shrinking economy and resort to shrinkage themselves: they reduce their services and their advertising till they’re but a shriveled ball of what they once were…

Copycats Beware: Obama from a Marketing Perspective

Different is good. And one of the primary responsibilities of a marketer is to make sure your brand stands out from the competition — ideally in a good way. (Yeah, I’m talking to you, Chrysler.)

Bankruptcy is the Fashion? Mervyns Fails to Declare its Style

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

As an L.A. based interactive-media guy for the past 14 years, I’m expected to blog about sexy new developments online or in Hollywood, but today I’ve decided to write about Mervyns department store. And, yes, that’s the only time you’ll ever see the words “sexy” and “Mervyns” in the same sentence.

Ah, I see I just lost 98% of this article’s readers — which reflects about the same percentage of consumers who couldn’t care less about the fashion retailer. And that explains why Mervyns recently declared bankruptcy. Since the economy’s been Bushed again, it’s easy to point fingers at macroeconomic issues, and that’s exactly what Mervyns’ management is doing…

“Your Skin Color is not a Stain!”: L.A. Teen Takes on Unilever’s Bigotry

Delia Rose is mad as hell. In her usually lighthearted and witty blog, Impeach the Muffins, the L.A. teenager is calling for a boycott of Unilever. The reason? The skin-whiteners that the corporate behemoth distributes and promotes in Malaysia and other Eastern countries…

Notes on Naming: Don’t Make It Personal

So I’m reading this book that recommends naming your company after yourself to make your brand “authentic.” Hmm… Freddy Nager Productions? Uh, no — sounds like a nightmare on Elm Street.

My personal name issues aside, here’s my advice to all other entrepreneurs: If you plan to remain a small operation (like a law practice), you might consider naming your company after yourself — just might — otherwise, I recommend crafting a name that’s original and creative. Sure, naming a company after yourself is easy, but you’ll get more mileage from an imaginative name — and avoid a few headaches down the road…

Full of Holes: The Extremist Attack on Dunkin Donuts

Like many people, I want 01.20.09 — Bush’s last day in office — declared an international holiday. But even with “the End of an Error” in sight, right-wing extremists continue to wreak their corrosive damage, and are now invading the seemingly sheltered world of corporate junk food…

This Way To The Egress: The Pros and Con Artists of Marketing

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.” — Abraham Lincoln

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” — George W. Bush

“Beware of geeks bearing grifts.” — Cool Rules Pronto

Phineas Taylor Barnum was the consummate 19th Century showman and one deceptive bastard…

American Apparel Sports a Woody: Madness is the Method

American Apparel CEO Dov Charney acts like he’s missing his calling. The controversial and flamboyant entrepreneur could parlay his promotional genius and predilection for the prurient to become one hell of a porn producer. (The San Fernando Valley, the porn capital of the world, is just over the hill from American Apparel’s headquarters.) It would certainly suit his notorious lifestyle…

21st Century Identity Crisis: Naming Strategies for the New Marketspace

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

Who ever imagined that naming a company would become a game of speed and chance?

Here We Go Again: Dotcom Bust 2.0

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

Video site Stage6 got the deep-six and called it quits. This comes on the heels of the fire sale at Revver, which ultimately sold for $5 million — less than half of the original investment that was pumped into it. But these weren’t the first signs of an industry decimation…

Amen to That: A Little Gospel According to Peter Drucker

While reading an article by one of my marketing idols, Jack Trout, I came across this quote from the “father of business consulting,” Peter Drucker…

Cute, Clever and Contagious: The HEMA Website

At first, the website for the Dutch department store HEMA (http://producten.hema.nl) looks like a bland generic ecommerce site. But wait a few seconds (or just click on the cup) and sit back and enjoy…

Extreme Marketing in Effect: Skullcandy Rocks CES

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

I recently attended the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas, and it’s true, you can’t spell “excess” without CES. After traversing an area the size of Rhode Island brimming with gadgetry, blissed-out geeks, and scantily clad spokesmodels uttering words they didn’t understand, I have but two regrets…