Just Break ‘Em: Not So Cool Rules in Marketing and Media

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

For all our talk of freedom, we Americans LOVE rules…

• Our favorite sport, football, has the most rules of any sport on the planet.

• Poker players make up new rules with every hand (“threes and hearts are wild except for the Queen, which you can pass to the right if someone sneezes during play”).

• Our institutionalized belief systems — whether Rastafarianism, environmentalism, or even Libertarianism — bristle with rules of what can and can’t be done.

• The August issue of Wired features an entire section on rules, “How to Behave: New Rules for Highly Evolved Humans,” which includes a few illuminating ones by Brad Pitt (“Don’t take a picture of your wife’s butt. That’s silly. Take pictures of other people’s wives’ butts.”).

• And, of course, as its name indicates, this here blog occasionally lays out rules for marketing and media as laid down by a higher authority (me).

Want more proof that most of us are rule-snorting junkies? Take this here Internet, where many users routinely cry “net neutrality!” and “information is free!” and “hands off, Feds!” — YET first-comers to any new website, network or medium are quick to impose rules that newbies must follow or die.

In The Can: Coors Campaign Leaves Us Cold

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

Just chillin'

It’s not as much fun picking on Coors now as when they were run by right-wing zealots from a mountain stronghold in Colorado. (Alright, it’s a brewery, but it’s fun to say “mountain stronghold.”) I did razz ‘em for their faux microbrew, Blue Moon. But since Coors became the Molson Coors company, they’re part-Canadian, and Canadians are our lovable liberal neighbors to the north with free healthcare, right? To further confuse matters, Molson Coors joined with SABMiller, the South African owner of Miller Beer, to form MillerCoors to promote their products in the U.S. And next year, South Africa will be hosting the World Cup, which is a glorious celebration of international unity through sports. Or something like that.

So how can I pick on Coors now? It’s too easy…

Want Tail? Watch Your Head: Secrets of Long-Tail Marketing

Customer: Do you have “I Just Called To Say I Love You”?
Barry: Yes.
Customer: Can I have it?
Barry: No.
Customer: Why not?
Barry: Because it’s tacky sentimental crap that’s why. Do we look like a store that would sell that song? Do you even know your daughter, there’s no way she likes that song. Oh I’m sorry, is she in a coma?
– from “High Fidelity,” the movie

A buddy and I were reminiscing about small independent record stores. Remember them? No? Damn youngsters…

“Free” Market Freefall: The End of Free?

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

Web 2.Uh-Oh

Just over a year ago, Wired magazine proudly proclaimed that the future would be free, an argument based partially on ad-supported free sites like NYTimes.com. Of course, it was hard to take this manifesto seriously since Wired still charges for their magazine (cover price $4.99).

It was also misleading because it appeared during the height of the second dotcom bubble, when most of the free websites and services weren’t really living off their ad revenue. Some still aren’t. The New York Times website, for example, couldn’t exist in its current form without the financial and content support from its parent company.

Don’t Believe Everything You Hear: Why Listening to Your Customers can be Hazardous to Your Health

Last week I hit the Digital Media Summit in the coolly atmospheric Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. There I enjoyed several speakers providing intelligent and informed insights into the industry, including Zango’s York Baur, Quarterlife’s Mashall Herskovitz, and my MBA classmate Jake Zim of Safran Digital Group.

But many of the other speakers were so intently spinning facts and sidestepping questions, I thought I was watching a Bush administration press conference…

File Under “WTF?”: Belvedere Goes Down… Town

So I’m thumbing through my favorite geek magazine, Wired, when I’m suddenly confronted by this Belvedere Vodka ad that features a woman applying lipstick in the reflection of a belt buckle. (If any of my female readers have ever executed such a task, please let me know… What? None of you have? Gee, what a surprise…) With Freudian symbol in hand, she’s got that deer-ho in the headlights look. Not exactly what you expect to find in Wired amidst ads for Zune, Casio and the Discovery Channel. (Hey, have we got a discovery for you…)

Not So Artfully Crafted: Blue Moon’s Un-Wired Ad

by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

So I’m thumbing through Wired magazine (which features a brilliant article on the music industry by David Byrne) when I come across an attractive painting of beer. What’s not to like? As a huge fan of microbrews, I stop thumbing and say “talk to me!” but the only words in the ad are the name of the beer and the tagline “Artfully Crafted.” And the first thing that pops in my mind is not a desire to quaff the brew, but a distinct sense of disappointment: “What a waste!”